Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
by sendricamp
Summary: Beca is a flight risk, Aubrey can be a bitch.


They fought all the time, Beca knew this, but there was something different about this time. It seemed.. final. Aubrey had slammed the bedroom door behind her, and part of Beca knew the blonde was packing her things, and the thought tore at her insides. She didn't want Aubrey to leave.. she never wanted Aubrey to leave. If anything, she would have seen herself as the one walking out. She was always the one to leave. It had been over an hour since the screaming stopped, and Beca found herself almost halfway through a bottle of vodka when she stood up on wobbly legs and moved into the bedroom, biting her lip to keep from crying when she saw Aubrey, sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands, still crying.

Beca moved across the room, dropping to her knees in front of the blonde and grabbing her hands. "Don't cry," she whispered.

"You're drunk," Aubrey replied, pulling her hands away and standing up. "I fucking hate it when you get drunk." She walked to the other side of the room and turned around, looking at the brunette. "Is that just going to be your problem solver for everything? Just crack open a fucking bottle of vodka and drink until things get better?"

Beca remained silent, pulling her knees to her chest and closing her eyes. "I don't want to fight anymore tonight."

"What happened to us?" Aubrey asked, sitting on the floor by the door, her eyes locked on her girlfriend.

"What do you mean? Nothing has changed. We fought the first time we met, we fought before we even started this relationship. What makes you think anything would be different? This had to be one of the stupidest choices I have ever made in my life!" Beca snapped, crossing the room on her knees until she was in front of the blonde. Aubrey looked down at her hands, taking a sudden interest in her nails. "And just because deciding to be with you was such a stupid choice, that does not mean I want to take it all back, Aubrey. When I first told the Bellas that I had asked you out.. and that you had said yes.. there was a chorus of how much of a bitch you are, and how stupid I was for thinking I could change that."

Aubrey looked up again, tears in her grey eyes.

"But I never wanted to change that. Yeah, you are a bitch, but that is you. I never had a chance to get to know the you that I do now before I decided that I wanted to be with you. When I was working nights at the station.. and you would bring me something to eat.. that was a side of you that I think only Chloe knew exsisted. To get to see that side of you, I fell in love with you more, even when we would fight. When you stormed in here, I expected you to come out and leave just minutes later."

"Well, Beca," she snapped, her voice even, "unlike you, I don't run from my problems."

Beca let out a breath of air she didn't know she was holding in. "I deserved that."

"Yeah, you did. What on earth makes you keep thinking that running away is going to solve everything? Why don't we just do this? Sit down and try and talk?" She stopped for a minute. "But not tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because you have been drinking, and I don't think we need to have an in-depth conversation about our relationship with you being loaded up with vodka. We can talk tomorrow." She got up, gently helping Beca off the floor and leading her to the bed. "I am going to sleep in the guest room tonight, okay? I promise I will be there when you wake up, but it still isn't going to change what we have to talk about."

^^^^^VVVVV^^^^^VVVVV

Beca opened her eyes and squinted against the sunlight, noticing the asprin and water on the nightstand. She didn't know when Aubrey had left them, but she silently thanked that the woman wasn't made enough to not care. She sat up slowly, taking the pills and then drinking the entire glass of water before slowly making her way into the living room. Aubrey was on the couch, her feet curled underneath her, a book in her hand and her headphones in. Beca knew, in that instant, that if she didn't keep her cool during this conversation, she was never going to see that sight again.

Slowly, she sat down on the other end of the couch, giving the blonde a small smile as she pulled the earbuds out and set her book down. "Thanks for the asprin," she mumbled.

"I saw how much of the vodka you drank. I figured you might need it." Her voice was even, yet clipped.

"I'm sorry. I know I say that every single time, but I mean it every single time. I get what this conversation can mean, and I want you to hear me out before you say anything on your end, please?"

Aubrey shook her head. "I have to go first, Beca. I have to get this out before it destroys me." She took a deep breath. "For five years, I have sat back every single time we fight and watched you walk out, feeling my heart breaking, and thinking.. just maybe.. when you came back that the next time would be different. That you would stick it out and realize that we are fucking this whole thing up. But I am not saying this is the end.. I am saying that I think if we sit down and talk out whatever problem we are having at that time, it seems a lot more productive than yelling and screaming and leaving and drinking. We are adults, we need to learn to be able to talk things through without losing our tempers, no matter how much we seem to frustrate each other."

Beca remained silent.

"I don't want to lose you, and I don't want to walk out on you.. but I am tired of you walking out on me."

"I push people away."

Aubrey turned on the couch so she was facing the younger woman. "You don't have to push me away. I am here for you when you need to talk, you just need to realize that. I am not every other person in your life," she whispered. "I am here for you and you alone. I need you to see that I am not going anywhere, Beca. I am not going to give up on us when I have worked so hard to keep you. I am not going to throw that out the window."

"Why not?" she asked, standing up. "Everyone else has given up on me, but somehow you still find it in you to stay. And don't give me another bullshit quote of your dads about winning or quitting, because I want to hear your words."

The blonde stood up, putting her hands on either side of Becas face. "You are beautiful. You keep your heart locked away, but the second I found my way in and saw just how passionate you were for the things you loved in life was one of the most amazing things ever. The way how, when I come home after a bad day at work, there you are with that goofy fucking smile and I love the way every inch of us fits together perfectly. You snore, you take up half of the bed.. but it is all worth it when I realize that out of everyone out there that could want you, I have you. You chose me. I'm bitchy, uptight and annoying, but somehow you have it in you to look past that and you love me, and it just shows how some of the best things are so unexpected."

Beca closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around Aubrey's waist before finally letting herself cry. "When I need words so much, they just.. they aren't there," she choked out. "I want to know what is wrong with me.. why I choose fight then flight instead of staying and I want to get better, but I am so fucking scared that before I do, you are finally going to shatter and then I am going to be fucked, because I don't want to live without you." She pulled back, meeting Aubrey's eyes. "What are we going to do?"

Aubrey placed a soft kiss on her forehead, shaking her head. "I don't think there is an answer to that. But I am never going to give up, even if it kills me. I love you too much to give up," she whispered. 


End file.
